Darkkeep

This very day in the hills north of Atlantis our crack team of rock bashers have discovered a golden coloured rock, we hope to melt it down into a liquid and serve it with the flesh of the milk tiger, it will be a glorious feast.

Pfft! Under fear of death my people sneer at your pathetic "discoveries", as I laugh and wipe a tear from my eye (a tear of laughter...Tokugawa never cries).

Our fertile land is abundant with a glorious golden grain, which our enlightened squires have named...the Golden Grain. Here is a high-definition image as viewed from our orbiting AMC 6 satellite:



"Blue wet stuff" is also in abundance here, although our language will not be tarnished by the tongue of Spandex, we shall call it what we have called it for days now; Ballygowan Mineral. We are in the process of combining Ballygowan Mineral with Golden Grain, and will soon build great fortifications that will stand the test of time!

On the verge of our town lies green plains, covered with plants of many kinds. They appeared to be of absolutely no value compared to the Golden Grain, until one day a young slave combined these plants with a recent discovery; fire. This individual assures us he is in the process of developing "religion".

&quot wrote:A local village has paid tribute to Spandexia with a gift of "gold". 58 of it, we are told. As soon as we can figure out the secret of "counting", we will check to make sure. The blue wet stuff remains problematic. There surely must be a way to access the food ashtrays....

Oh wise Spandex.

Our people have not yet met, but i am willing to do you a favour. This "gold" that you speak of is in fact a deadly weapon that will bring plague and misery to the mighty Spandexia.

When the time comes for us to meet face to face, i will happily take this terrible poison from you. Consider this a diplomatic gift.

AZTEC'S RULE AOK

Hmmm.... poison you say.

ALL BOW BEFORE THE MIGHT OF SPANDEXIAN WEAPONISED SMALL SHINY GOLD DISCS

Spandex, my people grow ever more concerned about the acts of terror you could commit with these Weaponised Small Shiny Gold Discs. We are also not mislead by your nomenclature - we believe you have 'Gold Discs' of various sizes and weights - something that is strictly forbidden by our Unity National Council.

My people demand access for our inspectors to search for all forms of WGDs within your borders. You can save us both a lot of time (and pain) if you send us all your WGDs NOW.

But Alejandro, it is well known that the only source of gold is within the lands of Atlantis, spandex can not have WGD's.

Is this a ruse for war?

Now, Now Alejandro. I'm sure you are aware that our Weaponised Gold Discs are merely for innocuous defensive purposes only. Your Unity Council and its silly rhetoric only exist to mask your TRUE intentions. You seek a pretext to invade us for our food ashtrays, for you have none of your own. BOW DOWN BEFORE SPANDEX, HEATHEN OR WE SHALL THROW WEAPONISED GOLD DISCS AT YOU FROM OUR SHINY HUTS. WE WEAR COMFORTABLE CLOTHES - ALL SHALL BOW DOWN BEFORE SPANDEX.

&quot wrote:…it is well known that the only source of gold is within the lands of Atlantis, spandex can not have WGD's

If this is so, then why does he claim so intently that he has such weapons?
Indeed, are you not trying to hide your own complicity in the matter. If you have traded gold for Food Ashtrays, you have played right into his hands.

&quot wrote: Is this a ruse for war?

Never! Our peoples are peace-loving and generous. We merely show concern for all man and woman kind. We cannot allow a Gold-gap to be created in the same way as previous resources have been plundered.

Does your young nation not remember when Spandex was free for all? When our Science Fiction conventions would teem with people in futuristic mock-uniforms? When athletes would claim aerodynamics as the reason for skin-tight spandex suits? When our fitness instructors would bend over and you could see right up…

Anyway… we will not let gold go the way of Spandex – to become the basis of empire for some upstart cult.

&quot wrote: BOW DOWN BEFORE SPANDEX, HEATHEN OR WE SHALL THROW WEAPONISED GOLD DISCS AT YOU FROM OUR SHINY HUTS

From…your…shiny…huts? B-but….How? Why? Fsck! Wait…I’ll be back….


[size=9px]Architects! ARCHITECTS!…somebody get me the fscking State Architects in here – we have to dear down any non-shiny buildings…no…no…I don’t know…not particularly…Look, stop asking me. They have them, so there must be some reason. Just get building.[/size]

Spandex, your Axis Ally, Generalissimo Priam has made a nobel effort in denying the existence of WGDs in your tiny nation, yet you blatantly contradict him!? Isn’t it time for you to stop lying and admit inspectors within the confines of your border?

I’m not even asking that they be Imprean. Just that they report back to me and give me a cut of the loot for proper disposal.

Today our people discovered a great thing, we call it The Wheel



we intend to use them as surfaces to eat off, the hole in the middle is used to hold our drinks, beware our technical might!

I know there is a lot of ambition in Washington, obviously. But I hope the ambitious realize that they are more likely to succeed with success as opposed to failure

Today our people discovered a great thing, we call it The Wheel

I glance at the headlines just to kind of get a flavor for what's moving. I rarely read the stories, and get briefed by people who are probably read the news themselves.